


Over Before it had Even Started

by HomeForImaginaryFriends



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15857835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomeForImaginaryFriends/pseuds/HomeForImaginaryFriends
Summary: Kuroo hasn't spoken to Sawamura, who had unrequited feelings for, in years until one day Kuroo has surgery and Sawamura is there to help take care of him afterwards.





	1. The Restart

  


Kuroo was not sure how he ended up in this particular situation.  He knew most of the factors. He had injured his elbow by slipping on the ice and landing on it, not by playing volleyball which he did on a national level.  He had travelled to Sendai because they had the best doctor who could perform his surgery within the timeframe he needed it, and had made plans with Bokuto to come stay with him in the little house Kuroo was renting while he recovered and had to attend several checkups after his surgery.  It had all been planned out and he had even put a reminder in Bokuto’s phone so the other man wouldn’t forget. They had texted before Kuroo’s surgery and Bokuto had made it sound like he was heading to the trainstation soon.

 

Yet now Kuroo was fully dressed while the doctor addressed him and the other person in the room, though mostly he was talking to the other person because any type of strong medication messed with Kuroo for hours.  Kuroo turned to Sawamura Daichi, Sawamura Daichi of all people was in his hospital room while Kuroo sat on the bed with his bare feet hovering above the cold linoleum floor, wondering how Sawamura Daichi was there and if the pain medication had been a little stronger than he thought.

 

“I’ll be seeing you in a week Kuroo.”  The doctor said to which Kuroo nodded at before turning his attention to Sawamura, who was looking over some of the paperwork the doctor had given him.

 

“Sawamura?”  Kuroo asked, voice scratchy but it got Sawamura’s attention.

 

“Do you need some water?”  Sawamura asked, already grabbing a small bottle off the little table by the bed.  He unscrewed the cap before holding it out for Kuroo, who looked down at it then at the socks in his hands.  “How about we trade?” Sawamura eased the socks out of Kuroo’s hands before carefully placing the water bottle in his hand.

 

Kuroo was glad he paused before taking a sip because Sawamura was suddenly kneeling down and putting Kuroo’s socks on his feet. Kuroo didn’t know how to react to that and before he could come to some consensus in his mind, Sawamura was done and Kuroo’s feet were already feeling warmer.

 

“Thank you.”  Kuroo said because his mother had taught him manners and he was quite sure if he had tried to lean down to put the socks on he would have fallen off the bed.  “Sawamura?” Kuroo questioned again, raising the water bottle to his lips and taking a quick sip that felt refreshing and stinging at the same time.

 

“Bokuto called me, his sister has the flu and he’s watching his nephews so they don’t get sick while she recovers.”  Sawamura spoke carefully, as if he had already told Kuroo this, which maybe he did.

 

“Oh.”  Kuroo forced himself to look away from the warm chocolate eyes he might have written songs about when he was young and was stupid enough to believe he could actually write songs.  He couldn’t, he always cheated and tended to rhyme the next sentence with the same word from before. Also he only learned three cords on the guitar and his singing voice has been compared to that of a dying cat.

 

“I know, I’m the one who told you that you sound like a dying cat.”  Sawamura said with a grin and Kuroo thought maybe Sawamura could read minds but then came to the more likely conclusion that he had said all of that outloud.

 

“I’m sorry.”  Kuroo went to rub his face but cringed when something hurt.  Sawamura stepped close to adjust Kuroo’s sling, which he just realized he was wearing.  Kuroo didn’t even know Bokuto kept in contact with Sawamura. “If you can take me home I should be fine from there.”

 

“We’ll see about that.”  Sawamura smiled and it was so unfair.  Kuroo was often told he looked like he was plotting something nefarious when he smiled but Sawamura was clearly plotting something and yet his smile looked like that of an angels.  “Thank you.”

 

“Oh god.”  Kuroo groaned when he realized he had spoken out loud _again_.  So caught up in his own misery he nearly missed the blush on Sawamura’s face, nearly being the keyword.  It had been a while since Kuroo had made Sawamura blush, not since they were in college together. He had forgotten how well it looked against Sawamura’s tan skin.

 

“Let’s get you home.”  Sawamura offered, bending down once more to put Kuroo’s shoes on.  Kuroo was a little embarrassed they were his ratty old converse, he would have chosen some nicer clothes if he had known Sawamura was coming to pick him up.

 

No, Kuroo mentally shook himself out of that train of thought.  He couldn’t think about Sawamura that way, he thought he had broken himself of that bad habit a long time ago.  He allowed himself some leeway since he was still a little drugged and exhaustion was riding him hard despite the fact that he just woke up.

 

Kuroo had harbored something akin to a crush on Sawamura in high school and college, Kuroo had the idea that anyone who knew Sawamura developed a crush on the guy.  He was practically impossible not to like and everyone knew they could depend on him if they needed him. Kuroo had lost track of how many times he had leaned on Sawamura during their two years at university together.

 

But then Sawamura had to leave Tokyo to help his mom take care of his twin siblings when their father got sick and Kuroo had been recruited to the national volleyball team.  Kuroo had never confessed because their paths seemed to diverge so completely from each other, plus Kuroo loved being friends with Sawamura. He enjoyed the late night texts, the little reminders Sawamura sent to him throughout the day to eat a proper meal or to shower and not just go directly to bed.  He was worried all of that would end if he confessed and Sawamura didn’t end up feeling the same way.

 

Kuroo wasn’t sure how exactly it happened, he tried not to ask any questions involving it, but his teammate Oikawa ended up dating Sawamura.  That didn’t exactly feel the best but despite how much everyone teased Oikawa about being a playboy and having nothing but volleyball on the brain, he was an attentive boyfriend.  He was genuinely thoughtful and he remembered all the important dates, he sent postcards from where ever the team was sent and he always sent a goodmorning and goodnight text no matter how hectic his day was.  They were good together and Kuroo worked on feeling happy for the both of them.

 

They dated for three years and their breakup was a surprise to most.  Oikawa had always told everyone that they just grew apart but one night after they had gotten drunk after the summer olympics Oikawa had revealed that he thought there was someone else.  Kuroo couldn’t believe Sawamura would cheat on anyone, especially not someone he so clearly loved. Kuroo regretted never asking after Sawamura, allowing the friendship to fade despite the fact that it had meant so much to him.

 

Kuroo reaches down with the arm not in a sling and lightly grabs the back of Sawamura’s sweater as he follows the other man out of the hospital room.  Sawamura shoots a curious look back at him but doesn’t say anything as they walk to the nurses station and Sawamura helps Kuroo sign out.

 

“You had to drive all the way here?”  Kuroo asked as Sawamura led him to a little blue car.  Sawamura looked confused before realization came over his features.

 

“I moved to Sendai a year ago.”  Sawamura helped Kuroo into the passenger seat, leaning over him to help buckle him in.  Kuroo held perfectly still, even held his breath and then silently berated himself for acting like a teenager.  But was it his fault Sawamura had gotten even better looking over the years? Where was the thinning hairline and protruding gut?

 

“Really?”  Kuroo asked, shifting slightly in his seat when Sawamura settled into the driver's seat.  “How’s your dad?” He asked hesitantly but Sawamura shot him a smile.

 

“A lot better, he’s the one who encouraged me to take the job here.”  Sawamura kept his eyes on the road as he started to drive. To help out his family while his dad was recovering Sawamura had taken a job in construction  “I’m actually taking night classes to complete my degree.” Sawamura admitted with a shy smile that made Kuroo’s heart flop around in his chest.

 

“That’s great!”  Kuroo grinned with real enthusiasm.  “I always thought you’d make the best doctor.”

 

“It’s just physical therapy.”  Sawamura corrected Kuroo, who snorted as he leaned back in the seat, enjoying the fact that he could look at Sawamura all he wanted and it wouldn't b inappropriate.

 

“Speaking as someone who will be doing physical therapy so I can continue my career which I very much love, it’s important work.”  Kuroo stated, grinning when Sawamura nodded in agreement, his shoulders losing the tension in them. “How are the twins?” Kuroo asked because he knew that would get Sawamura going.  He loved talking about his family and he was extremely proud of his twin siblings.

 

Kuroo wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, he had been listening to the deep rasp of Sawamura’s voice while his eyes followed along the cut of his jaw and the light smattering of freckles that showed up whenever Sawamura spent a substantial amount of time out in the sun.  Then Sawamura was suddenly standing in the open door next to him, leaning over once more to unbuckle Kuroo and help him out of the car.

 

“Sorry.”  Kuroo mumbled because he felt rude for falling asleep on Sawamura, but the other man only laughed as he looked up at Kuroo.   Kuroo felt his traitorous heart pound quicker in his chest because he had forgotten how much taller he was compared to Sawamura.  It was an easy thing to forget when he was surrounded by other volleyball players who were often times as tall or even taller than him.

 

“Let’s get you to bed.”  Kuroo’s mind went directly in the gutter for that one but he resisted saying anything out loud and allowed Sawamura to lead him into his temporary home.  He worried for a moment about mess before remembering he had only just stopped by earlier that day to drop off his luggage before heading to the hospital.

 

The house Kuroo was renting was fairly new and completely barren.  There was a coffee table, couch, and a rolled up futon and that was about it for furniture.  Kuroo would have felt more embarrassed if he wasn’t so tired. Sawamura left Kuroo on the couch before going to the kitchen.

 

“You don’t have to do anything else, you’ve done enough.”  Kuroo said through a particularly loud yawn that cracked his jaw.  Sawamura stepped around the couch and stood in front of Kuroo.

 

“You don’t have any food and the doctor said you need to take your meds with food.”  Sawamura cupped Kuroo’s face and it was only then he realized he was listing heavily to one side.  Sawamura adjusted Kuroo so he would lay down on his good arm. “The pain meds won’t be as good as what they gave you in the hospital but you’ll want them in a couple hours.”  Kuroo knew Sawamura was probably right but it didn’t stop Kuroo from feeling guilty.

 

“I’ll order takeout.”  Kuroo tried once more, though he didn’t really want Sawamura to leave.  It had been years since they had last seen each other and Kuroo didn’t want to guilt Sawamura into taking care of him.

 

“If that’s what you want.”  Sawamura said, bringing over a blanket he had found by the futon and laying it over Kuroo, who cuddled down into it.  It wasn’t what he wanted but Sawamura didn’t owe him anything, if anything Sawamura should be mad at Kuroo for picking sides after the break up.

 

“I’m sorry.”  Kuroo mumbled once more even as he felt his conscious fading.

  
  
  


\----------------

  
  
  


Kuroo woke up to noise coming from behind him.  He felt himself panic for a moment as he woke up in an unfamiliar setting, his entire body felt sore, and his arm was throbbing in pain.  He pushed himself up into a seated position and turned to see Sawamura pulling white containers out of a large brown bag. Sawamura looked over and there was clear sympathy on his face.

 

“Hurting?”  Sawamura asked and Kuroo nodded because he didn’t quite trust himself to speak.  “I got takeout like you wanted, you can take the antibiotics with your food but you have to wait to take the pain meds until after you eat.”  He instructed and Kuroo nodded once more. He felt his eyes burn slightly and he told himself it was just because they were dry or he was really feeling the pain in his arm now but he knew it was because he thought Sawamura would leave and they would go back to being strangers once more.

 

Sawamura settled beside Kuroo, carefully placing a tray over Kuroo’s legs before he set up a laptop.  Some sort of Jurassic Park rip-off started playing and Kuroo felt himself smile despite how terrible he was feeling.

 

“I knew you liked these movies.”  Kuroo teased him as he started to eat, thankful that he was ambidextrous and could use his non-dominant hand to hold the chopsticks with.  He wasn’t quite sure his heart could take Sawamura having to feed him.

 

“I downloaded it because I knew you’d like it.”  Sawamura stated, shovelling food into his mouth with the same amount of gusto he had at 18.  Kuroo tried not to choke on the bite of rice as he finally realized Sawamura was around for the long haul.  Once Sawamura Daichi put his mind to something he never backed down and he had promised Bokuto that he would look after Kuroo.

 

Kuroo took both his pills before settling against Sawamura to fully watch the movie.

 

“Is this okay?”  Kuroo asked even as he scooted down to rest his head on Sawamura’s broad shoulder.

 

“You’ll be sleeping on the couch until we buy some sheets for the futon.”  Sawamura shifted around until settling back and Kuroo realized he was in a much more comfortable position now.

 

“Hey Daichi?”  Kuroo said, felt Sawamura tense up even though he was halfway to being unconscious again.

 

“Yes?”  Sawamura asked, voice soft and barely audible.

 

“Thanks for doing this.”  Kuroo managed to get out before his eyelids slipped shut.  He was almost completely out when he heard Sawamura speak again.

 

“Anything for you Tetsurou.”  


	2. Chapter 2

“Stop that,” Yaku swatted Kuroo’s hand away from where he had been trying to stick a finger into his sling.  His arm itched something terrible whenever he wore the more stabilizing sling that basically held his arm to his chest.  It had been nearly a month since the surgery so he had been cleared for some light workouts and he had been given the sling so he could go running without worrying about putting strain on his elbow.  “Honestly how Sawamura puts up with you is beyond me.” Kuroo gave an exaggerated pout even as his eyes scanned the room for Sawamura.

 

The party was a sort of belated housewarming and a get together type reunion for most of them.  Bokuto and Azumane had been dating going on a year now and they had recently decided to live together.  Being one of Bokuto’s closet friends, Kuroo had known about the budding relationship but even he hadn’t realized it had been going that well or had gotten that serious.  It was the reason why Bokuto felt comfortable enough calling Sawamura in the first place to look after Kuroo, since Azumane and Sawamura had remained close even after graduating high school.  They had ended up working at the same construction firm for a while too.

 

Sawamura stood in the kitchen with Azumane, helping pour more chips into a bowl and gather more snacks.  Sawamura had looked surprised when Kuroo suggested they travel back to Tokyo together for the party, but the smile he gave Kuroo after would stay with him for a long while.

 

Sawamura hadn’t just stayed with Kuroo on that first day but he constantly checked up on Kuroo throughout the month while he had been recovering.  He stocked up Kuroo’s fridge and even prepared meals for him throughout the week that Kuroo just had to heat up. Sawamura stopped by for dinner, usually bringing take out or offering to make something before they both sat on the couch and caught each other up on everything they had missed over the years, or they would watch another movie on Sawamura’s laptop.  They had gone shopping for essentials like sheets and plates, Sawamura pushing the trolley Kuroo tried to sneak unessentials into the basket, whining when Sawamura put them back. He did let Kuroo keep the superhero themed dishes.

 

Kuroo had forgotten how easy things had been with Sawamura.  How conversation always came naturally, how much Kuroo enjoyed teasing Sawamura who often times gave as good as he got.  But Kuroo enjoyed learning new things about Sawamura too, like the wide array of sweaters Sawamura had acquired over the years.  He admitted it was to cover up the fact that he only owned two pairs of pants but Kuroo couldn’t help but notice that each sweater seemed to compliment something new everyday.  Kuroo’s favorite was probably the creme color one that made Sawamura’s skin look great.

 

It was with dismay that Kuroo realized that the old feelings weren’t only still there but they had quickly developed into a monster over the past month.  While Sawamura was dating Oikawa it was easy for Kuroo to dismiss his own feelings, he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt his friends, but now that Sawamura was single and it had been years since Oikawa and Sawamura broke up he found it difficult to control himself.  Kuroo was a natural flirt but it became different when he did it around Sawamura but it was done with purpose, and sometimes it felt like Sawamura was flirting back.

 

“Hey hey hey.”  Bokuto nearly crashed into Kuroo with his usual bone-crushing hug that serves as his greeting but stopped himself just in time, which was probably for the best since Kuroo really didn’t want to explain to his doctor that he busted his stitches due to his easily excitable friend.  Instead Bokuto carefully draped his arm around Kuroo’s shoulders as if Kuroo was broken everywhere and not just his elbow. “Did you hear about our Mori?”

 

“Oh ho ho?”  Kuroo smirked, easily slipping into his old role as Yaku gave them both an annoyed look.

 

“He’s apparently dating a model but refuses to tell anyone who they are.”  Bokuto grinned as Yaku’s face turned red.

 

“How did you know that?”  Yaku hissed out, looking as if he was ready to pummel the answer out of Bokuto.

 

“So it’s true then?”  Kuroo asked to distract Yaku from his murderous rage.  “Who do we know who is a model?”

 

“Shut up, you don’t know him.”  Bokuto and Kuroo cackled as they got more information as Yaku rubbed his face and groaned.

 

“So they are a him huh?  A male model.” Kuroo wondered, wrapping his own arm around Bokuto’s waist to keep Bokuto from leaning too much of his substantial weight on him.

 

“Koutarou do you mind running downstairs to get the pizza?”  Azumane asked, coming up behind them. Bokuto grinned as he eagerly nodded his head, leaning in to nuzzle his boyfriend, who turned bright red in response but still smiled.

 

“How is the new job going Yaku?  I heard you got the lead on the newest client.”  Sawamura said as Bokuto left to get the pizza.

 

“Always playing peacemaker.”  Kuroo said in a disapproving voice.  “Unless you know who the mystery model is?”

 

“I know a lot that you don’t know.”  Sawamura nudged Kuroo away so he wasn’t leering down at him before turning back to Yaku who began to discuss his new job at a law firm in Tokyo.

 

There were plenty of people Kuroo knew at the party and several he didn’t.  He felt a stab of guilt run through him when he realized that Oikawa wasn’t there and he had been relieved when he learned that the other man couldn’t make it.  Kuroo enjoyed being around Oikawa, which was a good thing since they were on the same national team and they spent a good majority of their time together. As a teenager Kuroo had often joked about the _Bro Code_ with his friends, it wasn’t something that really existed but it was just common decency not to hit on your friends ex boyfriend.  Which was relatively easy for Kuroo before he had injured himself but had become increasingly difficult the more time he spent with Sawamura.

 

“Pizza!  And I brought someone with me.”  Bokuto announced when he came waltzing back into the apartment.  He moved aside to reveal the national teams libero, Nishinoya who grinned and waved.  Sawamura and Azumane went over immediately to speak with him and Kuroo watched him go.

 

“It’s like we’re 17 all over again.”  Yaku muttered, snapping Kuroo out of his thoughts as he looked down at his friend.

 

“What?”  Kuroo asked intelligently, earning a grin from the shorter man.

 

“You do realize we’re adults now, right?  You can just ask him out.” Yaku looked over at Sawamura just as the other man started to laugh at a story Nishinoya was telling.  Kuroo liked when Sawamura smiled so wide his eyes crinkled and a missing tooth was revealed. “Chances are he’ll even say yes, god knows why though.”

 

“What do you mean?”  Kuroo snapped his attention back down at Yaku, who looked up at him in disbelief.

 

“Wow, can you believe there was apart of my life I actually thought you were intelligent?”  Yaku grinned before giving Kuroo a light kick. “He likes you. I need another beer, I’m starting to feel like a teenager again.”  Kuroo looked over at Sawamura once more. Sawamura looked up at Kuroo and smiled when he saw he had his attention while Kuroo felt a little kick in his chest at that look.

 

Kuroo and Sawamura left a couple hours later, after all the beers had been finished and there was nothing left but empty bowls and a few pizza crusts.  Kuroo had stuck to water considering he wasn’t supposed to mix alcohol with the medications he was on but Sawamura had a couple. Kuroo enjoyed tipsy-Sawamura, he laughed at most things and his tongue tended to be a little looser.  The light flush that spread over his cheeks was a nice bonus too.

 

“Are you sure it’s okay if I stay here?”  Sawamura asked after they had already walked into Kuroo’s apartment.  He tended to spend a lot of time not in the country so he mostly rented it out to tourists so it looked more like a hotel room than anything else.

 

“It’s two in the morning, where else are you going to go?”  Kuroo asked as he toed off his shoes. Sawamura looked like he was actually thinking the question over as he reached out a hand to steady himself as he took off his own shoes.  Kuroo blinked down at the hand on his good arm and he remained still until Sawamura was done.

 

“I could have probably crashed at Asahi’s.”  Sawamura answered, straightening up but his hand remained curled around Kuroo’s bicep.  “Though him and Bo looked like they were getting pretty affectionate by the end of the party so maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea.”  Sawamura gave a soft squeeze to Kuroo’s bicep, making him jump and look at a laughing Sawamura.

 

“Find that funny, do you?”  Kuroo asked as Sawamura continued to laugh.

 

“Little bit.”  Sawamura answered, his hand trailed down Kuroo’s arm until he was curling his fingers around Kuroo’s.  Kuroo looked over Sawamura, thought of Yaku’s words and put that together with everything that had been going on.

 

Kuroo had lost so many opportunities because he was afraid.  Afraid of losing Sawamura as a friend and then later of losing Oikawa.  He could easily pull away, lead Sawamura to the guest bedroom and they could go back to how everything was before.  Sawamura was allowing Kuroo to take that final step because he was always the one who had been pulling away.

 

Instead of pulling away Kuroo stepped closer, not nearly as close as he wanted to with his arm stuck between them, but then he just had to lean down and press his lips against Sawamura’s.  Sawamura’s fingers slotted between Kuroo’s, calloused and a little dry but warm. His other hand came up to cup Kuroo’s jaw, his fingers curling into Kuroo’s hair as he tilted his head to get a better angle.

 

Kissing Sawamura was so much better than what he had dreamed of because it was real.  It was slightly awkward with the sling caught between their bodies and the dramatic height difference, Sawamura’s mouth tasted of cheap beer and pizza and Kuroo was sure he didn’t taste much better.  But Sawamura gave a soft exhale against Kuroo, his fingers lightly scratching against his scalp in the most delicious way.

 

“Sawamura.”  Kuroo said in between kisses.  “Daichi.” He tried again, getting Sawamura’s attention this time.  “You’re not doing this because you’re drunk, are you?” Sawamura lightly headbutted him for that but left his forehead resting against Kuroo’s.

 

“Three beers spread throughout four hours does not make a person drunk.”  Sawamura said, nose brushing against Kuroos. “But if you’re worried I guess you’ll just have to kiss me in the morning and find out.”  His smile was mischievous and Kuroo had no choice but to kiss it off of him.

 

“Help me take this sling off.”  Kuroo requested because he wanted nothing between them and the free use of his other hand.  Sawamura looked down at the sling before sighing.

 

“I’ll help you take it off but after we are going to bed.”  Kuroo grinned at that and earned a pinch on his cheek for it.  “To sleep. Don’t give me that look, you have to meet with the team doctor in six hours and I am having breakfast with Suga and Asahi.”

 

“Plus you haven’t even taken me out on a date yet.”  Kuroo said as he gently pulled Sawamura further into his apartment.

 

“Considering I’ve been cooking and getting movies for you for the past month I’d say I’ve taken you on many dates, it’s you who is slacking.”  Sawamura said with a grin that made Kuroo’s heart beat a little faster each time he saw it.

 

“Touche.”  Kuroo admitted.  Sawamura stopped them in the living room so he could start undoing the straps of the almost overly complicated sling.  Kuroo smiled at the care Sawamura took not to hurt him.

 

“There’s a festival tomorrow night.”  Sawamura mentioned almost too casually, his cheeks turning redder as he refused to look at Kuroo.  Kuroo stepped closer to the shorter man to see if he could get the blush to spread any further. “Bo mentioned it.”

 

“A night festival?  How very shoujo manga of you.”  He got a glare for that one but Kuroo placed a kiss on the tip of Sawamura’s nose to pacify him.  “I hope you know I’m going to go all out.”

 

“What?”  Sawamura asked, eyebrows furrowing.

 

“Full shoujo manga.  I’m going to win you a prize, get you cotton candy that we share, we’ll go on a ferris wheel where I kiss you for the first time at the very top.”  Kuroo grinned at the thought of all of that. It was even better when he thought of doing it with Sawamura.

 

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”  Sawamura asked with a sigh.

 

The next night Sawamura and Kuroo did go to the festival together.  Due to his arm being in a sling Kuroo lost quite a bit of money and the young girl at the ring toss booth had so much pity for him she gave him a small bulbasaur plush.  Then Sawamura won Kuroo a giant stuffed tiger, Kuroo was sure he did it just to show Kuroo up but he couldn’t really find it in himself to be mad at that as he thought of the stuffed tiger always reminding him of this night.  Kuroo ended up emptying his wallet buying Sawamura food from nearly every vendor, he had forgotten what a blackhole Sawamura’s stomach was. He refused to share his cotton candy with Kuroo too. They did end up kissing at the top of the ferris wheel but a child with a precarious hold on their drink ended up dropping it on Kuroo on their way down.

 

Kuroo had never enjoyed himself more, his cheeks hurt from smiling so much and his hair was flat and sticky with soda, his arm throbbed and he had spent a huge chunk of money but he couldn’t regret a second of it.  He knew how lucky he was, that not many people were given second chances and here he was, living out his teenage fantasy of going out on a date with Sawamura Daichi.

 

Sawamura Daichi who laughed every time Kuroo missed the ring toss but then kissed him on the cheek so sweetly for the pokemon plush, though Kuroo was well aware that Sawamura had never seen or played pokemon in his life.  Sawamura who could easily clear out a food vendor if he was given a chance, but gave Kuroo bits and pieces of whatever he had. Sawamura who laughed until he was practically crying when the soda spilled all over Kuroo, but who helped wipe off his face and hair and even pulled off his own sweater so Kuroo could change out of his sticky shirt and jacket.

 

They were leaving for Sendai late the next day, which gave Kuroo time to stop by and see his mother and Kozume for a bit.  He recounted the date play-by-play and even though his mother teased him and Kozume pretended to die of boredom at one point he could tell they were both happy for him.

 

Kuroo answered his phone without looking to see who was calling, thinking it was Sawamura who was coming around to say hello after he was done seeing some other friends that lived in Tokyo.  He was in his own little happy bubble while Kozume was in the bathroom and his mother was making tea for all of them.

 

“Hello Tetsu, is there something you forgot to tell me?”  Oikawa’s sweet-as-honey voice came over the line and Kuroo’s bubble of happiness popped at once.  “No? Nothing? Well then let me help. When were you going to tell me you’re dating my ex?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for KuroDai Weekend 2018  
> September 1 - Day Two - Affection/Dates


	3. Chapter 3

  


“Listen Oikawa-” Kuroo started as soon as Oikawa opened the door.  Kuroo had asked Oikawa if they could talk in person and the other man had agreed.  Kuroo had left his mothers house with a quick apology and the promise to see her again soon.

 

“Oh it’s Oikawa now?’  How formal of you.” Oikawa said, making his way further into his house.  Kuroo quickly followed after him, feeling something hard form in the pit of his stomach.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”  Kuroo tried again.

 

“That’s what you’re sorry for?”  Oikawa turned on him, handsome face pulled tight with anger.  “Not for dating someone I was in love with behind my back but because you got caught?”

 

“It wasn’t like that.”  Kuroo said quickly, trying to disregard the question of how exactly Oikawa had found out so quick.  He knew it was irrelavant and asking it would only get him into further trouble.

 

“Then tell me what it’s like because that’s how it looks!”  Oikawa didn’t give Kuroo time to explain as he continued on.  “This wasn’t someone I had a couple dates with, I dated Daichi for years!  I was devastated when we broke up and I trusted you. I knew there was someone else, you must have thought I was such an idiot pouring my heart out to you while you were with Daichi.”

 

“You know neither of us would do that to you.”  Kuroo tried to keep his own hurt and anger hidden.  He knew Oikawa was just lashing out because he was hurt and adding his own complex feelings on top of that wouldn’t get them anywhere.

 

“Do I know that?”  Oikawa asked. “Because I thought I knew that you were my friend and you wouldn’t date my boyfriend behind my back.”

 

“It just happened, we weren’t cheating on you.”  Kuroo tried again but it was was like beating his head against a brick wall.

 

“And I should believe you why?”  Oikawa snapped out.

 

“Because we’ve been friends and teammates for years!”  Kuroo finally exploded but took a deep breath to try and calm himself down.  “We’ve been in close quarters for years. I even let you use my phone for like two weeks when you busted yours and couldn’t get a new one.  If I had been dating Sawamura during any of that time don’t you think you would have picked up on that? And I’ve gone on dates with other people throughout the years.”  Kuroo could tell his words were affecting Oikawa, sinking in that it wasn’t what he had first thought but he was being stubborn about it all.

 

“So it’s a recent development?”  Oikawa finally asked, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

 

“Yes, it just happened.”  Kuroo admitted. “Tell me how I can make this better and I’ll do it.  Do you want me not to see Sawamura anymore?” Kuroo asked because it seemed like the last step he could take but he didn’t expect Oikawa to go for it.  Kuroo knew that if he could just get Oikawa to calm down a little and explain everything then they could move further.

 

“Yes.”  Oikawa said, breaking Kuroo out of mentally preparing a speech of how everything had progressed with Sawamura and how neither of them ever meant to hurt him.

 

“I’m sorry?”  Kuroo stared at Oikawa in confusion.

 

“Stop whatever is going on between the two of you and I’ll believe you.”  Oikawa said, voice strong and firm. Kuroo felt that hard ball in his stomach begin to roll around as he stared over at Oikawa.

 

“You’re serious.”  Kuroo said after a moment's pause.

 

“Are you?”  Oikawa asked, venom in his tone but there was hurt in his eyes, in the twist of his mouth and the way he was basically hugging himself.

 

“If that’s what you want.”  Kuroo found himself saying, his throat felt like it was trying to swell shut before he could say the words.

 

“It is.”  Oikawa confirmed and Kuroo nodded slowly, turning around to walk out of the house.  Kuroo turned back for just a moment because something else needed to be said.

 

“I never meant to hurt you and I think deep down you know that I’m telling the truth that this just happened.”  Kuroo met Oikawa’s eyes because it was important to have eye contact during this moment, so Oikawa would have no choice but to hear him out and see for himself that Kuroo was telling the truth.  “Someone did come between you and Sawamura, but you know it was never on Sawamura’s end.” Kuroo walked out after that, his body feeling heavy as he made his way back to his own apartment.

  
  
  


\---------------------

  
  
  


“Okay Tetsurou, what is going on?”  Sawamura asked as they entered Kuroo’s place in Sendai.  Kuroo had tried several times to tell Sawamura what had happened but each time the words got stuck in his throat and he felt more miserable.  Kuroo turned to Sawamura and he must have looked as miserable as he felt because Sawamura dropped his bags to reach up and cup Kuroo’s face, which only made him feel worse.

 

“Oikawa found out about us and confronted me about it.”  Kuroo said, the words slow and clumsy. Sawamura frowned in confusion at that.  “Apparently a fan of mine saw us at the festival together and took a picture, it blew up because we’re kind of adorable together.”

 

“Your words are happy but your tone isn’t.”  Sawamura ran his thumb across Kuroo’s cheek before sighing.  “He wasn’t happy, was he?”

 

“He thinks we were seeing each other behind his back, even while you two were dating.”  Sawamura’s scowl was a fearsome thing when he was truly angry and it picked Kuroo’s spirit up for a moment before it came crashing down once more.  “I told him that we wouldn’t do that but he was too hurt to listen to me. I said something stupid Daichi.”

 

“What did you- oh.”  Realization hit Sawamura and then his hold became even gentler.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“Why are you apologizing?”  Kuroo asked, shifting closer to Sawamura because he knew he would lose the other man once again very soon.  Out of everyone involved Sawamura was the innocent party.

 

“When Oikawa and I broke up you pulled away and I let you go because you two were friends and teammates, you’d have to travel and be near him all the time.  You needed to be able to trust each other.” Sawamura’s hands left his face and Kuroo mourned the loss. “Part of it was selfish too. Seeing you, talking to you would remind me of him and how I would never be enough for him.  I would never be the person Oikawa wanted even after years of trying.” There were unshed tears in Sawamura’s eyes, an old hurt brought up by new pain. Kuroo hated himself a little for being the reason this was happening.

 

“You’re more than enough.”  Kuroo told him because it was true.  “I should have fought harder to stay friends, I missed you.”  When Sawamura moved back home Kuroo had found the most atrocious stationary he could find, ridiculously cute and bubblegum pink.  He had written letters to Sawamura on it and had received food-themed stationary in return. It had helped keep Kuroo sane during the more difficult times.

 

The national team came calling and Kuroo had a decision to make.  Stay in college and finish out his degree, hoping that his body would keep up with him to try out for the team after he graduated.  Or he could drop out and go at least try to accomplish his dream. So many people had told him to take the safe route but Sawamura Daichi, reliable, sturdy Sawamura Daichi had told him to take the chance.  Kuroo had warmed the bench for a long time but one day his time came and he was put on rotation because someone else had been injured. After that he was made a starter and all because one person believed in him when he needed it most.

 

“Maybe to someone.”  Sawamura leaned forward, rested his forehead against Kuroo’s shoulder, still being careful of Kuroo’s healing elbow.

 

Words stuck in Kuroo’s throat, a confession years too late.  He wanted to tell Sawamura that he had been in love with him for years, that this month with him had been one of his best.  That he was not only enough, he was more than enough. Kuroo wanted to throw everything away and continue dating Sawamura.

 

But real life wasn’t like that.  Real life was harsh and cold, it was unfair and lonely.  It could have spots of wonder and joy but those were far and few in between.

 

So instead of saying anything Kuroo hugged Sawamura as tightly as he could with one arm, buried his face in the top of Sawamura’s head and tried not to let any ugly emotions mar this moment.  He didn’t say anything that had been piling up inside of him for years now because they would only make him feel better.

 

Sawamura pulled back and despite his instinct to hold on tighter, Kuroo let him go.  Sawamura gathered his discarded things and walked out of Kuroo’s temporary home and his life, without a glance backwards.

 

Kuroo closed the door behind Sawamura and leaned his forehead against it, let the tears fall freely down his face as he mourned for everything that could have been.

  
  
  


\-------------------

  
  
  


“Koutarou, man, I cannot stand the puppy dog faces any longer.”  Kuroo reached over and squeezed Bokuto’s face between his hands. “Tell me what’s up.  Did you try and go swimming in a fountain again because we’ve had this talk before.”

 

“No it’s not that.”  Bokuto said, his words coming out muffled due to Kuroo squeezing his cheeks together.  Bokuto sat down dejectedly on Kuroo’s bed, face pulled down into the saddest of looks.

 

“Do you miss Azumane?”  Kuroo asked, which seemed the most logical of answers.  They were in Paris for the Olympics and before that they had some pretty intense training that didn’t leave a lot of free time.

 

“No, I mean yes, I always miss him, even sometimes when he’s right there with me I just think about how we’re going to be apart soon and I just miss him and that’s weird right?”  Bokuto sprawled across Kuroo’s hotel bed and Kuroo laid next to him. It sounded kind of sweet to Kuroo but he had a big soft spot for the hyperactive ace so he wasn’t one to be trusted.  “But it’s not about that, at least not completely.”

 

“Then what is it?”  Kuroo asked once again, turning his head to look at one of his oldest friends.

 

“Tooru told me what happened between you guys, or more like what happened between you and Sawamura.”  Kuroo sucked in a quick breath and tried to keep calm at the mention. It had been months ago but it still hurt, like a wound that never healed quite right.  “And it’s all my fault.”

 

“How?”  Kuroo asked, surprised out of the pain by Bokuto’s sudden claim.

 

“Because I forced you two together.”  Bokuto looked at Kuroo then away quickly.  Kuroo studied his profile before it all slowly came together.

 

“Your sister was never sick, was she?”  Kuroo asked. Bokuto shook his head and gave him the saddest of puppy dog eyes.

 

“You’ve liked him for so long and none of your other relationships have worked out which is stupid because you’re amazing and crazy hot, and your the captain of Japan’s national men's volleyball team!  You’re awesome but then I started thinking that you needed someone as awesome as you, which is super hard to come by.” Bokuto motioned wildly with his hands and Kuroo had to dodge quickly a couple times to avoid a punch.  “But then I overheard Asahi and Sawamura talking, about you and I know I shouldn't eavesdrop but I did and it was obvious that Sawamura had feelings for you and you always liked him so I just lied a little and now you’re miserable because I’m the worst friend ever.”

 

“Worst?”  Kuroo pulled Bokuto close, let the large man cry against his chest.  Their last game was in two days time and six days later would be the closing ceremonies.  The team needed their ace in a good mental space but more importantly Kuroo needed his friend to feel better.  “You’re the best friend. You just wanted me to be happy and there’s nothing wrong with that Kou. And you gave me a full month with him and that was well worth the heartache.”

 

They laid there together for a while and Kuroo was about to suggest they go be tourists for a while but there was a knock on the door that interrupted that.  Kuroo thought it was probably the team doctor or Nishinoya coming to look for them to talk them into more practice so he sat up with Bokuto and yelled out that the door was open.

 

Kuroo was surprised to see Oikawa standing inside his hotel room.  Things had been awkward between them for a while until they put their differences aside to concentrate on the olympics.  Neither wanted to let their team, let alone the country down. And as much as Kuroo would like to lay all the blame at Oikawa’s feet, he knew he had to shoulder some of it himself.  He could have fought harder, he could have tried to explain himself to Oikawa, he could have done more but he hadn’t and he would have to live with that.

 

“Wakatoshi is looking for you.”  Oikawa said to Bokuto, who’s face lit up at the mention of Ushijima.  The two had become close friends despite the fact that they were battling for the same spot, but it had taken both of them to help win silver at the last olympics and they knew it would take both of them to get them that far, and hopefully farther this time.

 

“Go.”  Kuroo nudged Bokuto, who looked reluctant to leave Kuroo but he needed no further push as he happily jumped up and ran out of the room, giving Oikawa’s perfectly styled hair a good rub on the way out.  Oikawa huffed in mock irritation as he stomped over to the mirror on the hotel room, putting his hair back into place while pretending he wasn’t there for any other reason.

 

Kuroo ran a hand through his grown out hair.  When training picked up he didn’t cut it, which meant he used bands to hold back his long bangs during games.  Everyone had their own thing, at least he washed his socks unlike Nishinoya.

 

“Why aren’t you angrier at me?”  Oikawa asked, looking at Kuroo from the mirror.

 

“I’m more angry at myself.”  Kuroo admitted with a shrug. Oikawa turned and faced Kuroo properly.

 

“I did love him.”  Oikawa said as if trying to convince himself.

 

“No one said you didn’t.”  Kuroo agreed but that only seemed to make Oikawa’s frown deepen.  “The problem wasn’t you loving Sawamura, it was you loving someone else more.”

 

Oikawa was in love with his childhood friend, Iwaizumi Hajime.  The problem was Iwaizumi was married and expecting his second child with a wife he very much loved.  Oikawa was apart of their family, he babysit their son and spent holidays with them, they came to his games and cheered him on in the stands.

 

It was why Oikawa put so much into his relationship with Sawamura, not because he wanted Sawamura to be Iwaizumi but because he wanted to prove to himself that he could be happy without him.  That’s why everyone was so surprised when they broke up because they seemed so happy together, and in truth they were. But it wasn’t enough. That’s why it hurt Oikawa so much when they broke up because he put so much time and effort into it to still have it fail.

 

Instead of admitting that, Oikawa convinced himself it was Sawamura who had found someone else.  Someone probably more local and available, someone that he could have dinner with every night and wake up next to every morning.  It was easier to say that Sawamura fell out of love with him than it was to admit that Oikawa was still in love with someone who would never feel the same about him.

 

Despite everything they had been through and what Oikawa had put Kuroo through, Kuroo would never throw any of that in Oikawa’s face.  Some words you couldn’t take back and Kuroo never wanted to hurt Oikawa. Punch him in his almost too perfect face? Yes. Permanently emotionally hurt him?  Never.

 

“I think I’m ready to listen, if you want to talk about it.”  Oikawa said hesitantly, leaning a hip against the little desk that was in the room where Kuroo’s laptop was set up.

 

Kuroo hadn’t told anyone the full story.  Bokuto knew bits and pieces while Kozume had to listen to a teenage Kuroo pine after Sawamura.

 

So Kuroo began to lay it all out, from the beginning to the end.  His throat was dry afterwards, his eyes suspiciously wet, and he found it difficult to look Oikawa in the eye.  Oikawa had moved to sit next to Kuroo, who was leaning up against the headboard on the bed.

 

“He feels the same way about you.”  Oikawa said but Kuroo shook his head immediately to that.

 

“I don’t think he had romantic feelings towards me while you two were dating.”  It was Kuroo’s way of admitting that he didn’t think Sawamura was in love with him, which made this whole situation a little better.  At least in Kuroo’s head. If Sawamura wasn’t in love with Kuroo then it wouldn’t hurt as bad when they broke up. Or truly stopped whatever they had going before it had even begun.

 

“Tetsurou, he _loves_ you.”  Oikawa said plainly.  “And I fucked that up for the both of you because-” Because Oikawa had been hurting and had lashed out but Kuroo couldn’t let him take all the blame.

 

“It’s only partially your fault.”  Kuroo sighed as he rubbed hard at his face.  “I should have been honest with you from the beginning, whether that was years ago or when I realized those feelings hadn’t gone away for me.  I should have fought harder to make you listen to me. This is my fault.”

 

“Why don’t you call him?  I bet he’d be willing to give it another try.”  Oikawa looked miserable and Kuroo thought it would feel a better seeing that.  Kuroo knew eventually Oikawa would get over his own hurt and see the truth of the matter, that he would regret his hasty orders but Kuroo still felt miserable.

 

“No, people don’t get third chances.”  Kuroo took in a deep breath and stood up from the bed.  “Come on, we don’t have that much free time to go be tourists.”  Kuroo prodded and poked Oikawa until he left the hotel room with him.

 

There was nothing left to do, Kuroo had missed his chance and he was well aware of that.

  
  
  


\------------------

  
  
  


Kuroo led his team in their normal warm up as the stands steadily filled up with people.  Kuroo’s real goal was to keep his teams eyes and minds away from the Russian team across the net from them.  The other middle blocker was a couple centimeters taller than Kuroo and that put him as the tallest player on Team Japan, but there didn’t seem to be anyone on the Russian team that was under 185 centimeters.  Not only were they tall but they were broad, thick all the way through and they had sixteen world champions under their belts.

 

This game would determine who got the silver and who got gold, Kuroo needed his teams heads in the game and not on the fact that the Russian ace hit balls so hard they seemed to leave a dent in the floor.  Kuroo had a strategy he had spent a lot of time working out with Oikawa and then perfecting with his team. He had faith in them.

 

“Tetsurou!”  Bokuto nearly bowled Kuroo over in his enthusiasm.  “Did you see who showed up?” Bokuto pointed to the growing crowd and Kuroo squinted, looking for Azumane amongst the sea of people.

 

“I don’t know why you’re surprised, he said he’d be here today-” Kuroo’s words died on his tongue as he spotted Azumane and next to him, Sawamura.  Sawamura had been looking directly at Kuroo and he waved a giant foam finger at Kuroo. Kuroo couldn’t be positive but he was sure Sawamura was wearing his jersey too.

 

“You weren’t supposed to tell him right before the biggest game in our careers.”  Oikawa admonished but he was grinning as he gave a little finger wave to Sawamura.  They were far away but Kuroo was sure he saw Sawamura roll his eyes before waving back at Oikawa.  “What if he chokes now?”

 

“Take that back!  My man doesn’t choke.”  Bokuto yelled, scandalized and nearly choking Kuroo with a large bicep wrapped around Kuroo’s neck.

 

“Get back to stretching, both of you.”  Kuroo shooed them away, looking up at Sawamura once more.  He thought of all the things he could do, he could be suave and cool by just giving a grin before winning the gold.  He could go the simple route and wave back. But instead Kuroo put a hand over his heart and spread his other arm wide, giving a smirk up to Sawamura who looked at him blankly before pretending to take off the jersey.  Kuroo laughed as he turned back to his team, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention.

 

Kuroo hadn’t believed he would get a third chance but it seemed he was wrong once again.  But right now he had to concentrate on the game in front of him. Then and only then he would make sure Sawamura wouldn’t regret giving Kuroo another chance.

  
  
  


\---------------------

  
  
  


“Isn’t that the flirty ace from the american team?”  Kuroo looked over as the question was asked. The game was over and they were all experiencing different levels of highs and lows from it.  It had been a long and very hard fought battle, the Russians hadn’t given them an inch but only one team could come away with the gold.

 

“Oh hey he’s talking to Daichi!”  Nishinoya said joyfully before a deep scowl etched onto his usually happy face.  “He doesn’t deserve to talk to Daichi.” Kuroo grabbed the back of Nishinoya’s Team Japan shirt before he could charge over there and make a fool of himself.

 

“Let me handle the flirty American.”  Kuroo suggested and everyone, besides Bokuto and Oikawa, looked at him in surprise.  Kuroo pushed Nishinoya into Bokuto so he could control their overly energetic libero before strolling towards Sawamura.

 

“ _I can get you my jersey if you want.”_  Kuroo’s English was pretty good and part of him wished it wasn’t.

 

“ _Oh?  And what will that cost me?”_  Sawamura asked, his smile was friendly but his eyes spelled trouble.  Kuroo slowed his walk to see how this would turn out.

 

 _“Dinner?  We are in the city of love after all.”_  Honestly Kuroo couldn’t even blame the young kid.  Sawamura was tempting, the white and red jersey looked good stretched over his broad shoulders and the sleeves bunched on his arms just right.  He was tanned once more, the freckles on his face coming out and he really was something to look at.

 

But this was Kuroo’s third chance and he was damned if he’d let some hormonal 19 year old get in his way.  Thankfully he wasn’t Russian, so Kuroo had no problem using his height to his advantage to loam over the other volleyball player.

 

“ _Congratulations on getting bronze.”_  Kuroo slides his arm around Sawamura’s shoulders and almost melts when Sawamura leans into the touch, even adding his own arm around Kuroo’s waist.  Confusion flashes in the Americans eyes before he looks between them and grins widely, to both their surprise.

 

“ _Thanks man!  Congrats on the gold and the trophy.”_ He winked at Sawamura before turning around and walking away.  Kuroo had to give it to the boy, he conceded the loss rather gracefully.

 

“Did he just call me a trophy?”  Sawamura asked in an unimpressed tone.  Kuroo’s grin softened as he looked down at Sawamura, who hit his nose gently with the foam finger still attached to his hand.  “At least I didn’t waste my money on this jersey, you did well out there.”

 

“Thank you captain.”  Kuroo faced Sawamura fully and wrapped his other arm around his shoulders, pulling him close.  Sawamura glanced at his arm before looking up at Kuroo.

 

“How’s the elbow?”  Sawamura asked and Kuroo felt surge of warmth fill his chest as the question.

 

“Sore, I think I might need a long hot bath to ease the pain.”  Kuroo bent down, grinning as his nose brushed against Sawamura’s, making him wrinkle it adorably.

 

“The American had far better lines.”  Sawamura said in a flat tone, making Kuroo laugh.

 

“You came.”  Kuroo said because he had to, because he needed Sawamura to know how much that meant to him.

 

“Everytime.”  Sawamura promised.  “But I do hope we can just be together now.”

 

“Please.”  Kuroo nodded in agreement.  “So, this is the city of love after all.”  Sawamura laughed and used the foam finger to push Kuroo’s face away.

 

“Listen here Kuroo Tetsurou, I am a trophy and I will be treated as such.”  Sawamura poked Kuroo in the chest with every word. Kuroo grabbed the foam finger.

 

“You want to wear my gold medal, don’t you?”  Kuroo asked to which Sawamura narrowed his eyes before giving a slow nod.  Kuroo laughed and easily removed the medal from around his neck and placed it around Sawamura’s.

 

“Is that a marriage proposal?”  Nishinoya’s voice rang out and they both turned to see the entire Japan National Men’s Volleyball team staring at them as if they were the newest korean drama.

 

“I’m going to give you two seconds to clear out or you’ll be doing six am suicides.”  Kuroo threatened and watched as everyone laughed but quickly scrambled to get away. He turned to Sawamura, looking him over before enveloping him in a tight hug.

 

“Your hair is ridiculous.”  Sawamura mumbled against Kuroo’s chest even as his own arms tightened around Kuroo.

 

“You can cut it all off if you want.”  Kuroo offered. His medal, his hair, whatever Sawamura wanted he only had to ask for it and Kuroo would gladly hand it over.

 

“How about we just go get something to eat first?”  Kuroo readily agreed to that. “But I’m keeping the medal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for KuroDai Weekend 2018  
> September 2 - Day Three - Travel

**Author's Note:**

> Written for KuroDai Weekend 2018  
> August 31 - Day One - Injured


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